The New Students
by Tio-Chan
Summary: A new take on Dueling...paintball, if you've ever dreamed of attempts to kill Akio this is your chapter. Please R&R and get a new chapter
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Revolutionary Girl Utena.   
Authoress Notes: This is kinda like Ker-plops Lou's World does Ohtori because it's absolutely hilarious and if he has any problems with it then I'll stop at his request.  
____________________________________________________________________In a small boring little town in Kentucky Danielle, Becky, Josh,   
and Heather are sitting on the couch watching TV. Danielle frowned as they sat there watching the only thing on PBS "It's amazing what enough pledge money will do to a station." She remarked pushing a strand of red hair out of her face and shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.  
"Yeah, now that PBS has enough cash to last an eternity it plays British comedies all day long!" Becky remarked getting a slightly evil look on her face. Heather smirked as she shoved another handful of popcorn into her mouth and leaned back against the sofa "Yeah, I could get used to this..." She remarked as they all did what teens in this generation are know for doing, stared blankly at the screen.  
On screen, two guys are standing with beer bottles "'Ere, Cap'n. Merry Christmas!" As he smashed a beer bottle over the second mans head. "Crikey, Sarge, ya gave me that LAST year!!!" They both started hitting eachother over the head with broken beer bottles and the crowd started laughing hysterically. "Oh, this never gets old! AH HA HA!!!" Josh remarked.  
Suddenly,Sarah ran into the room with a big envelope. She smiled a slight bounce in her step not that, that was unusual for Sarah, "Hey guys! Guess what I just got!" Danielle looked up from her popcorn with a slight frown on her pale face. "Is it candy?" Sarah frowned "No." The red head turned back to the TV stuffing more popcorn into her mouth after answering "Not interested." Becky frowned at the red head whom normally sided with Sarah and got excited about what she got excited about...then again Danielle was diffrent when faced with TV. She frowned "What is it, Sarah?" Sarah bounced slightly smiling as she pulled out a letter and began reading it. "Dear super-smart and yet American high-school students-"  
Heather put a sarcasticly thoughtful hand on her chin and made her smart remark "What a nice letter opening." Sarah glared in the direction of the brown haired older teen "Oh, shut up. "You are cordially invited to travel to Hou-oushi to take part in Ohtori Academy's various high-level scholar summer workshops. Choose from a variety of topics; cooking, botany, fencing, music, and other programs headed by Ohtori's finest students and staff. You are also given the chance to meet with the dean of the campus and even apply to attend Ohtori next fall." Wow, this is so awesome!" She said all gidy like. Danielle frowned looking to Sarah in slight disbelief " Who's that letter addressed to?" She asked eating another handful of popcorn. "It's addressed to me, but it's got a list of all the kids attending, and Heather and Becky are on it."  
"Oh yeah, I remember getting one of those ivitations." Becky remarked looking thoughtful. Heather frowned "Yeah, me too, but I thought it was a joke." Heather remarked pulling out a postcard with the picture of the school on it "All it says is "help me to bring about world revolution." What does that mean?" Josh developed a sinister look on his face rubbing his hands together "Maybe he works for Microsoft." Sarah smiled "What're we waiting for? Let's GO!"  
Becky frowned as she whispered to Heather "Heather, why's she here anyway? She's not even IN this comic strip." Heather frowned and shrugged, "I thought she was with you." Danielle frowned relizing that she was going to be alone for the rest of the summer if she couldn't go,"Do you think they'd let me in?"  
Heather shrugged "Hey, anything's possible. Who would have thought the animators would destroy the end of Digimon's second season? I'm gonna kill them one of these days... GRRRR..." Becky shot up from her seat and smiled "It sounds like fun. I'm game."  
Sarah smiled and turned to go "Great! I'll fill out the forms and send them off to the academy. Yay, we're going to Hou-Oushi!" The rest of the group raised their hands in mock enthusasim as a monotone "Whoopeeee." Was the last thing heard by Sarah.   
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A week later at the said Ohtori Academey a teen dressed in a white uniform with long red haired walked into the office of the dean Akio with a frown on his face. He spoke as he dropped a load of papers on the desk "Boss, we just got back the last of the applications. Those four American kids you wanted to come here are on their way." Akio clapped his hands together with a sinister expression on his well tanned face "Eeeexcellent!" Touga froze sweatdroping "Would you mind not doing that? You're creeping me out." Akio frowned as if Touga had just told him that he couldn't have any christmas presents  
"Fine. Still, they may be on their way, but they'll never GET here!" He smirked as he opened the huge widowns behind his desk as a band of winged monkeys march into the office "Fly, my monkeys! FLY!" He cackled insanely as the apes leaped out of the window and take to the sky. Touga frowned looking confused "...Why'd you do that? I thought you said you wanted them to come." Akio placed a hand on his head and laughed "I know. I just always felt like doing that." Touga sweatdroped and fell over "Oi vey... Is any part of this story gonna be serious?!"   
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A month later the said group of American kids arrived at the gates of Ohtori Heather frowned looking sick "Man, that was one rotten flight over here." Becky nodded "Yeah, especially when that one guy took over the plane and declared it his own country of 'Bloopyland'and we had to throw him out?" Josh took this time to turn to the readers. "Don't you guys go nuts when we skip parts like that?" Just as he said this the gates opened eerily. Danielle gulped she hated things like this "This is it, I guess..." She looked out of the corner of her eye to see Sarah very uneffected by the eerie opening of the gates or the strange flight "This is gonna be so much fun!" Just as she said this an elephant fell out of teh sky and landed on the sidewalk next to them. Heather frowned eyeing the elephant "Or maybe, just maybe, it's gonna be just like home."   
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Mikage Souji was in Danielles opinion a rather attractive pink haired teen who had been given the task of greeting the group which sat in an almost completely empty auditorium. He bowed and did his best smile as he spoke "Welcome, honorable American visitors! Welcome to Ohtori Academy. I hope you will enjoy your stay here." Sarah looked around noticing that she and the others are the only ones there "Hey, where're all the other kids?" Mikage frowned looking around as if searching for an excuse "Ummm... They couldn't come. Well, almost all of them. We have another student here from Easter Island." At this point he pointed to a kid sitting in the back with a huge, stone head. Heather frowned and looked around. "Why didn't I see that coming?" Mikage cleared his throat to get the attention of the group back on himself. Not that he really wanted it that way. "Anyway, we have paired each one of you up with an Ohtori student that will be your roommate for the two weeks you will be staying with us. Ahem..." As the students began to walk in he began reading off the names and who they would be partnered with. "Victoria McDonald, you will be paired with Juri Arisugawa.  
Becky looked to Juri a tall thin girl with long red hair. She smiled and winked at her. Becky's eyes widened slightly,Somehow she knew this wasn't going to turn out good. "...........Oh, boy." Mikage continued "Josh Hampton, you will be rooming with Kiyouichi Saionji." Josh took this time to walk up to his roomate and shake his hand. Saionji was tall with green hair slightly curly and a little over his shoulders "Nice to meet you!" He said trying his best to be polite he however found that his roomate was not that polite and he got smacked. Josh rubbed his cheek and glared accusingly at the green haired teen "Hey, what was that for?!" Saionji frowned relizing what he just did and rubbed the back of his head and raised a hand in apology "Sorry. Old habit." Mikage continued "Danielle Lane, you will be with Anshi Himemiya." Danielle turned her attention from her newest stalking victim to her roomate a dark skinned girl with purple hair and wire framed glasses resembling her own. She however didn't relize teh cruel ideal everyone had to put cat ears on the poor red haired teen as she did her best smile (One which would make Samara and every other insane child run for cover.) and spoke "I see... Hello." Apparently Anshi's glasses needed updated lenses or all she saw was the cat ears as Danielle's eyes widened in fear at her reaction. "Oh, what a pretty kitty!" She then proceeded to pull the poor shocked red head into her chest and began stroking her head "I'm gonna love Her and hug her and pet her and call her George, and-" Mikage frowned pitying the poot teen but then again if he could shove a rose through someones chest then he could go on with his job without bursting into tears. "OK, moving on... Sarah Bunting will be rooming with Miki." Sarah looked arounf to find her roomate "Oh? Good!" Miki had short blue hair and large blue eyes. He approached Sarah and smiled polietly "Very nice to meet you." He then clicked a stopwatch.   
Sarah frowned "Stop that." She asked Miki frowned looking puzzled "Stop what?" He clicked it again.   
"Gurgh..."   
Mikage once again continued "OK, last pairing... Heather Hatfield is with Utena Tenjou." Utena was tall with a slightly boyish figure wearing an unusual uniform with long pink hair. She smiled and shook Heathers hand "Nice to meet you." Heather frowned as Utena shook her hand. And she thought Danielle had landed a nut. But then again the cat ears had been genius she spoke slightly snickering "Good to meet you as well, I'm sure... Nice uniform." Utena smiled "Thanks. I made it myself!" Heather whispered something under her breath as a girl with shoulder length blonde hair looking rather insulted. "What? Big bro and I don't get roommates?"  
"Touga still has his regular room." Stated Mikage Touga let out a sigh of relief."That's a relief."  
Nanami frowned at her brothers remark "Why? Are you afraid of what folks'll find if they go into your dorm, big brother?" Touga looked around nervously "Well, it's not that, but... Uh... There are some things I'd rather no one found out about me."  
You see Touga had some rather intresting hobbies, he enjoyed dressing like an Amish Man and churning butter...of course he'd rather not tell anyone seeing as though he had a certain social status to maintain. "Umm...yeah." He left it at that. Nanami then relized something and turned to the pink haired teen "You said Touga gets his own room? What about me?" Mikage frowned and pointed to the last remaing teen "You get the Easter Island kid."  
Nanami sweatdroped "Oh... Great... Ah ha ha..."(This blows.) She thought to herself. Mikage once again cleared his throat "Classes begin tomorrow. You may roam the grounds until then. Thank you for your patience." At this point they all began to file out. Anshi pulling Danielle along the poor child looking rather pale as Anshi spoke "Come along, George. I have someone you'd like to meet."  
Danielle gasped as she found herself not being able to pull against the purple haired dimwit. On the way out she passes Sarah and Miki  
Sarah remarking something quiet suddenly "I'm onto you." Anshi looked puzzled put just walked on.  
Josh looked to his partner "So, Saionji, what do you teach?" Saionji answered simply "Cooking." Josh frowned slightly he wanted to learn how to use a sword but oh well "That's neat!" He answered only to find himself being smacked by Saionji again. Saionji quickly apologized "...Oops. I meant "thank you." Josh just muttered a four letter words and followed.   
Elsewhere Juri and Becky were making a slightly better relationship "Let me show you the fencing arena. That is what you signed up for, right?" Becky nodded "Yeah. How'd you know?"  
Juri answered simply "You got assigned to the instructor that teaches that class. Once we see the arena, would you mind joining me for dinner?"  
Becky looked around feeling as if she was suddenly worse off than anyone else "....OK...."  
Meanwhile Heather was also getting aquainted with her instructor "So, Yutena..." Utena frowned and stopped the teen "It's pronounced "OO-TIN-UH." Get it right." She said firmly. Heather nodded and then they began walking "So Utena, does anything... random... happen around here sometimes?"  
(Cut to a scene of a nun kicking a cop)  
Utena frowned putting a hand on her chin "Like what?"  
(Cut to a scene of Miki playing the piano and the lid slamming down on his hands)  
Heather frowned searching for words "Oh, you know..."  
(Cut to a scene of a clown roasting a marshmallow over a campfire)  
She finally thought of what to refer to it as "Silly stuff..."  
(Cut to a scene of a man getting hit in the face with a pie)  
"That just happens..."  
(Cut to a scene of a sumo wrestler tap-dancing)  
"Without any reason..."  
(Cut to a cat driving an SUV)  
Utena frowned slightly "No, that doesn't happen around here. Why?"  
Heather sweatdropped "Oh, never mind."  
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Yeah so what do you think? I'm gonna update once I get at leat one review because I'm happy I got the poster for the Ring so I'm not gonna be difficult to those who read it and want more. 


	2. Here Kitty Kitty

Disclaimer: I do not own Revolutionary girl Utena. If I did there would be alot more Mikage than there is right now.  
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CHAPTER 2  
HERE, KITTY KITTY KITTY  
On the Basketball court Where Heather and Utena are at the momement. Utena is caught in the entirely useless activity of trying to teach Heather how to play basketball. She frowned in deep thought at how to word this without sounding perverted. "Just watch the ball and throw it at the basket when you can. Try it!" She said tossing the ball to Heather. She then hurled the ball at the basket, it bounced off the rim, shot downwards, hit a tree, flew backwards and knocks down a glass window and goes flying into the back of Heathers head. She of course flew forwards and smashed her face into the pole holding the basket up and then flopped onto her back looking slightly dazed to Utena. Who of course looked totaly dumbstruck "That...." She paused still amazed "Was the most spectacular pathetic throw I've ever seen. You should be good at this! Didn't you Americans invent this game?!" Heather paused for a minute to thing and then answered "Actually, I think it was a Canadian..." Utena nodded the grabbed Heather by the wrists. "Oh. My bad. Let's try rugby!" Heather frowned at her current postition. "Arrrrgh...  
After rugby and a few hours in intensive care, Heather and Utena are relaxing by the water fountain. Utena smiled towards the batered and bruised teen. "You're pretty good at rugby. I've never seen anyone play defense by being a dead weight." Heather sighed and almost fell into the fountain at this muttering "Well, you've got the "dead" part right..." Utena began to speak "You know, You seem quite familiar to me. Now, I wonder where I could've met you before..."  
*Flashback 1*  
A child Utena was on the ground her life filled with a new purpose the prince know as Dios had just left and she was staring at the floor as she boldly proclaimed "I'm gonna become a prince! Nothin's gonna stop me!"   
Just as she says this Heather walks in looking confused and holding a bus schedule. She looked to Utena "Excuse me, do you know where I can catch the 26-B to Nutley?" The child frowned and pointed in a nearby direction which held a huge sigh labeled BUS STOP "Oh, it's right over there." Heather nodded "Thanks." She remarked as she walked over and sat down on the bench.   
*FLASHBACK 2*  
Another flashback a few years later. Utena is going door to door in her Brownie uniform selling Princess Scout cookies.  
"Princess Scout Cookies! Come and get 'em! Too Thin Mints, Tugalongs, you name it, I've got it!" She remarked waving around several diffrent boxes, as a strange looking random man walked up  
"Got any Lumpy Loogies?" Utena smiles and pulls out a box of cookies. "Yessir! Right here." The man payed for them and walked off.  
Utena comes to another house and rings the doorbell; Heather opens it "Yeah?" Utena held up a box of cookies "Wanna buy some Princess Scout cookies?" Heather shruggs and mutters something about her being to nice most of the time. "Sure." She said as she handed over some cash and took a boxes then shuts the door.   
*FLASHBACK 3*  
Another flashback, a little closer to the present. Utena runs through the streets of New York as the Independence Day aliens fire their death rays and anihilate the city. She frowned slightly "Fine time for me to go on a bargain vacation! I am TOTALLY suing that airline company!" She barked as she leapt into the subway tunnel and escapes the explosion. Heather is the only other person in the tunnel. She frowns "Hot enough for ya?" She asked as she leaned up against the wall Utena frowns as well and leans against the wall "Oh, you don't even wanna get me started."  
(End Flashbacks)  
Utena frowns at the memories "I guess that would be why she seemed familiar." Heather looked puzzled at the thoughtful pink haired girl  
"What?"   
"Ah, never mind." She remarked. (Hmm, this girl could be the Prince I've been searching for... but I'll have to make sure somehow... Lemme see... This will require some Pinky and the Brain-like wisdom...) She thought to herself.  
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Meanwhile the unfortunate red haired cat girl found herself being lugged up the stairs to Anshi's brothers room still being petted. "OK George, you're gonna meet my big brother! He's the nicest big brother in the whole wide world, yes he is, George!" Danielle frowned nearly being choked to death. Certainly her brother would be a little bit better."GURRRRRRRRRK~"   
Anshi flung the door open to the room and walked in. Akio was sitting at his desk looking all high authority like and grading papers. "Hmmm... C-plus.... B-minus... Ooh, this is a research paper on the history of pornography: A-double plus!" He looked up from his grading "Ah, Anshi. What is it?" Anshi held up Danielle to her brother and the red head hoped that Anshi's brother could tell his insane sister that she WASN'T A CAT!!! "Hey, big brother! Take a look at my student! Her name's George."  
"GUURRRRRRRRK~" Danielle struggled once more as Akio raised an Eyebrow. Apparently stupidity ran in the family, unfortuantely for poor Danielle.  
(Woah... I've never seen such a huge cat... I'm kinda turned on.) He smiled eyeing the so called cat "Well, Anshi, it looks like your student can't breathe. Why don't you let her go?" He said and Anshi did as she was told and droped the cat. "Oh? OK." Danielle wheezed for a few minutes go for the fresh as if it was water from the fountain of youth. "Now then, I'll give her some water to cheer her up. Go do your piano lessons, Anshi." Anshi nodded "OK!" and then vanished. Somehow she got the feeling that she was going to be worse off with him that she was with Anshi. He smirked seductivly...she had been in this position before. With a certained white haired spirit names Yami Bakura and it hadn't turned out well. "Now then, what's your real name, cat?" Danielle frowned and hacked slightly "It's Danielle. Hold on, how'd you know my name wasn't George? And I'M NOT A CAT!!" Akio smirked and patted the kitty on the head. "Whatever you say kitty. She calls every new animal that ends up here "George." It got really confusing with the copyright guys when a curious monkey landed on campus and she got ahold of it." Danielle frowned thinking slightly "Er, yeah, I can see where that might be a problem."   
"Goodness, you can talk too? What a very special kitty cat!" He licked his lips and Danielle did her best to make him think of something else. "Don't do that. You'll chap your lips." Akio smirked "Want to look in my telescope? You'll see all sorts of stuff." Danielle gulped slightly "...OK."  
Danielle proceeded to climb into the telescopes chair and look in it. She sees all sorts of stars and planets "I wonder what other things are up there?" She started to swerve the telescope around. After looking around the whole place Danielle has located six black holes, a borg cube, that rift that the party hats fell out of in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and the actual location of Never Never Land when she sees something strange...very strange at that. SHe then looked to Akio frowning "Excuse me sir, but what kind of spacial anomaly looks like big, green buttcheeks?" Akio's eyes widened "What?!" He ran up and looked into the telescope "Oh, for the love of..." He looked upwards "Yoda, get outta there!!!"   
Danielle found herself sweatdroping as a butt-naked Yoda fell down from the top of the telescope and ran away giggling insanely  
Akio crossed his arms "That dumb puppet keeps poppin' up everywhere these days. He wants a sequel." Danielle looked totally vexxed at that moment, from both seeing more of the master jedi than she wanted to and that comment "What?" Akio shook his head and then developed his trade-mark someone's-gonna-get-screwed smirk.  
"Never mind. Hey cat, come here."  
Danielle stalled "What?"  
"Never mind. Hey cat, come here."  
"What?"  
"Never mind. Hey cat, come here."  
"What?"  
"Never mind. Hey-" There was a loud crash as Akio took a crowbar and struck the record player that's playing his English dub, knocking it back into sync. Much to Danielle's dismay "I want to show you something else too." It continued. Danielle's ears perked up (She's getting into the part people! She IS the Kitty!) "Really? What? Is it a giant chess game?" Akio smirked and she attempted to do what she did best run and cower in a corner somewhere. "Better."  
Minutes later, Akio has Danielle on his bed and is licking her all over. Danielle is screaming for dear life and trying to wrench herself out of the dean's grasp. "Get offa me!" Akio smirked looking up from the task at hand "Oh, come now. I'm a professional doctor and you need an examination!" Danielle struggled again "Nobody licks me but me!"  
"Fine. Put your tongue in my mouth!"  
Danielle smirked at a sudden though "This won't do you any good! I've been neutered already!" Akio frowned and snaped his fingers "What? Oh, curses." Just as he says this there is a forceful knocking on the door and it flew open. Kanae the deans feiance is standing amists the now almost hingeless door.  
"AKIIIIIIIII!!!" Akio felt his eyes widen as a cold sweat broke out on his face and he tried to make himself look innocent "Ummmm.... Yes, honey?" She frowned "WHAT are you doing in here?!"  
"Err, I'm, uh..." Akio stuttered and Danielle saw her chance. "He tried to-" She found her mouth being clamped shut by Akio's hand  
He came up with his excuse "I was just grooming the cat, sweetheart. See?" He said as he started petting on Danielles Head and whispered a threat under his breath.(Come on, purr, you dumb fuzzball!)Danielle frowned and looked up at him with a monotone, "Purr." He laughed nervously "See?" Kanae wasn't buying it though as she stood there an angry expression on her pale face "I'm not buying it! You were molesting that cat, weren't you?!"   
"What? Me? I'd never do such a thing! I'm a respectable citizen, and I-" Just as he said this He started coughing and pukes up a big red hairball. It plops onto the floor (Don't get any idea's perverts clothing was intact...Danielle just had a bit of a bald spot from then on.) Kanae silently pointed her finger at Akio and yelled "I KNEW it! YOU are in a LOT of trouble, mister!!!"  
"Uggggghhhh..." Akio groaned.   
Danielle got off the bed grabbed the hairball and stared to leave the room "I'll take that, thank you. Fortunately I had my hairs numbered for just such an occasion." She spoted the rose ring on Akio's dresser. She quickly snatched it as Kanae start's screaming bloody murder at the dean and takes off.  
--------------------------------------------------------------Meanwhile Juri and Becky are sneaking into Touga's room. Juri has a muschevious look on her face. Becky seems slightly worried "Umm, Juri, shouldn't we be fencing or something?" Juri stopped her "That can wait. Lemme show you something."  
The two crept into the room and Juri turns on the like. Beckys eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "Woah..." Juri snickered "Never seen a guy with sheets THAT color, huh?" She remarked looking to Becky "It's quite rare. Are you sure it's not just a red blanket he's had for a long long long time?" Juri looked to Becky frowning "  
"It's satin, Becky. And you know what the fun part of it is?"  
"What?"  
"JUMPING ON IT!!!"  
Becky and Juri then began the process of wrecking the neat sheets as they jump up and down on Touga's bed. Bouncing higher, and higher with each plunge.  
Meanwhile down in another room, Josh, Touga and Saionji are having lunch "Saionji's taught me a lot already. He's a cooking master!" He remarked just as Saionji smacked him again.   
"Oops. I meant "thank you."  
Since Touga's bedroom is right above the room, the thumping of the girls jumping on the bed can be heard quite clearly. The red haired student council president frowned as he looked up. "What the heck is that?" Saionji meant to reassure him that nothing was wrong however the usual excuse didn't quiet apply. "Don't worry. It's just Touga with another girl."  
THere was a brief silence as Touga eyed him oddly. "Oh. OK, I'd say it's trouble."  
Touga got up and ran upstairs only to see the girls hopping on his beloved pink sheets. "  
"HEY!!! GET OFFA THOSE!!!" He yelled preparing to charge at the two.  
"Oops! We're busted, Juri." Becky remarked. Juri frowned "I guess so. Look out, he's gonna tackle us!" Becky and Juri then leap off the bed just a Touga belly-flops onto it and goes sliding off. He then flew across to room and landed on a heap of stuff in the corner. He cried out in dismay "MY BUTTER CHURNER!!!" Juri looked to Becky who looked to Juri "Ummm... We'd better split."  
"Sounds good."  
The girls then ran off leaving poor Touga on the floor pounding it with his fists and screaming Amish Valgarities.   
They walked away and Becky looked to Juri "That was kinda fun! Are we gonna go fence now, though?"  
Juri nodded "Yeah, sure, Becky. We'll just head to the gym and-" Juri forze as she spoted a maroon haired girl coming down the hall. Shiori Becky frowned at Juri's face "Who's that girl, Juri?"  
"Ummm... Just play along!" Becky is then suprised as Juri grabs her, slams her against the wall and began frenching her. Shiori stopped to look as she walked past.  
"Yeah, right. No way is that Blonde hotter than me. In your dreams!" She remarked rudely and continued walking. Juri then let go of Becky and stares blankly for a second, then starts crying on Becky's shoulder. "Wow, this is just like a repeat of that anime girls' therapy group I went to a while back..."  
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Meanwhile in the estemed music room everyone favorite Pink haired psychopathic imaginary living being is wiring explosives to the Piano in yet ANOTHER one of his ingenious plots to get rid of the estemed Rose Bride Anshi. WHy? Nobody really knew since Mamiya technically didn't exist anymore. He smirked to himself and laughed evilly "Uwaa haaa haaa... My plan is foolproof! Anshi will come along and play her favorite song and when she strikes this key... BOOM! Ah, here she comes." He said spotting the purple haired rose bride he is hiding in the bass case in the corner as Anshi walks in and sits down at the piano. She smiled to herself "I think I'll play my favorite song."   
He got hopeful ushering her to do so in his mind,(Yes... YES...)  
As the purple haired rose bride began to tinker around with the piano keys but kept making the same mistake and missing the rigged note. Of course in true cartoony fashion. Mikage began to get frustrated just as Miki and Sarah walked in.  
"You've had piano experience before? Good. It'll be easier to teach you. Ummm... Anshi, are you having trouble playing your favorite song today?" The teen nodded, "Yeah... For some reason my fingers keep getting mixed up." At this Miki sat down next to Anshi blushing slightly she however got up a cruel smirk on her face. "D-don't worry, let me help. Let's see..." Miki however played the note perfrectly and the piano blew up. Miki is covered with thick, black, soot and pieces of wood, Mikage however is furious as he jumped out of the bass case and raised a finger accusingly at the ditzy purple haired teen "CURSES!!! You may have gotten away this time, but I'll get you! I'll get you, my pretty, and your little ape too!" He then jumped out of the window laughing maniacally Anshi looked puzzeled Sarah glared accusingly and crossed her arms "You deserve it, you know."  
Anshi still looked puzzled as Danielle walked in. A purple tail dangling from her mouth "Actually, I'd say I've got the 'little ape too' part down..." She remarked. Anshi once again just sat there and looked stupid."You're eating Chuchu? Why?" Danielle frowned and crossed her arms stating the obvious to everyone else "Revenge for sending me to Captain Happypants up there." She ended that with a belch and Anshi bounced stupidly (BURP) "Oh. OK!" Sarah looked oddly at her friend "Danielle he didn't... Oh, geez. Do us all a favor and take a bath tonight." Danielle nodded with a look on her face that said 'And did you think wasn't going to in the first place? "Sure thing. Lemme see..." She then pulled out the hairball and starts unraveling hairs "4587... 4588... 3295... This is gonna take a while..." She frowned suddenly she found the rose ring in the mess and decided to throw it out the window before returning to the task of pulling hairs.   
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Meanwhile Heather and Utena are eating dinner out at a picnic table . Utena eyed Heather as she spoke "So Heather, are you related to any nobility or anything?..." The brown haired teen frowned looking puzzled ,"No."  
"Oh." She frowned (No one says that she can't be a Prince if she isn't descended from one. I'll try something else)   
"Do you know any princes?" Heather nodded slightly "What? Oh, sure." Utena suddenly got hopeful "Really? Who?"  
"Prince, the singer... The Fresh Prince of Belaire... Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves... Elvis... No, wait, he was The King. Never mind."   
Utena frowned sweatdroping "Oh..."  
Just as she says this the rose ring Danielle threw out the window lands in the Potato chip Heather sticks in her mouth a sickening CRUNCH is heard "AAAAGGGHHHH!!! WHAT IS THIS?!" Heather spat the ring out into her hand and looked at it puzzled and in pain "Those stupid chip companies! I'll sue 'em for not mentioning there was a free prize in this bag!" Utena looked oddly at the ring and Heather got that sinking feeling that she was about to be in the same position as Becky was with that Juri girl. "My God, that's a Duelist's Ring! You've been chosen to battle for the Rose Bride!"  
Heather looked confused "Say what now?" Utena continued "Of course, I've never heard of anyone getting a ring through a bag of chips... Oh, well. But this PROVES that you're my Prince!"   
"Huh? I wasn't paying any attention because I was picking out the broken teeth." She showed Utena the four cracked teeth the ring resulted in "What currency does the tooth fairy pay with in Hou-Oushi?" Utena sweatdropped. "Grrrrgh..."  
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Later that night the kids are sitting in the cafeteria discussing the day's activites. Becky frowned "After much research, I've come to the conclusion that we're gonna be spending the next two weeks in a loony bin." Josh frowned at her rubbing his cheeks "My cheeks are bruised from all the accidental slappings..."  
Danielle looked uneasy "You don't want to hear about how my day went."  
"They're all up to something, I tell you. There's something BIG going down around here..." Sarah remarked as Heather eyed the rose tine in her hand "The pink-haired chick is coming on to me and this thing broke my teeth."   
Danielle frowned slightly "All-in-all, I'd say this is going to be an interesting few weeks."   
"Yeah, who knows what tomorrow'll be like?" Sarah eyed Josh "Whaddya mean tomorrow? First we have to get through tonight..."  
_________________________________________________________________ 


	3. I love the night life

Disclaimer: I do not own Revolutionary Girl Utena  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
CHAPTER 3  
  
I LOVE THE NIGHT LIFE  
  
The group proceeded to clean up their places in the cafeteria just as the group of students from Ohtori entered. Becky looked between the two red heads. "Huh? Oh, hi, Juri. Hi, Touga. Sorry about your butter churner." Touga frowned and replyed through clenched teeth "It's... not... a problem." (Anglishmann Schwein...)  
  
Akio entered the room, the estemed dean of Ohtori got a rather unwanted welcome for a certain red haired cat girl "HISSSSSSSS!!!!" She darted behind Heather "Don't let him anywhere near me!" The dean frowned at the girls actions "Charming. I just came down to wish everyone a pleasant evening." Sarah whispered something under her breath to the rest of them (Don't be fooled. He wants to wish us more than that...) As she finished she found that the dean had walked out Josh frowned, "What? He leaves and that's it? Weird." The blue haired Ohtori teen know as Miki frowned and spoke "Actually, we came down to inform you of the evening situation."   
  
"Situation?" Heather frowned making the little finger motions.  
  
"Since we are short of rooms, each of you will be sharing the room of the instructor to whom you've been assigned. The rules are typical, so..." Becky started shaking her head stopping the teen from talking "Woah, woah, woah. Don't go assuming we know your rules, blue guy!" Miki sighed "Fine. Ahem." He picked up a sheet of paper "The Ohtori rules for evening hours:  
  
1) No booze.  
  
2) Keep noise levels at a minimum.  
  
3) All naughty items should be kept in your room.  
  
4) If Akio comes into your room, you have no right to throw him out."  
  
Sarah frowned her eyes twitching slightl "Those are rules?" Miki shrugged "Hey, I didn't make them."  
  
"I guess that means I'll be roomin' with you, Saionji!"  
  
He fund himself slapped again "Umm... I meant "there's a spare cot in my room." Josh frowned rubbing his sore cheek "Lovely. Ever considered having that arm looked at?"  
  
"Likewise, Becky will be with Juri, Sarah will be with me, and... uh... oh, dear." Danielle frowned at the blue haired teen "Something wrong?"  
  
"Utena and Anshi already share a room; it's the law of the Rose Bride."  
  
Heather looked at Miki oddly "I certainly hope those rules are less odd than the regular ones."  
  
"I guess it'll be a tight squeeze. Well, good night, everyone."   
  
Becky sweatdropped "This... is gonna be an interesting evening."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Josh and Saionji are walking down the hall towards the green haired teen room.  
  
"Is your room big?"  
  
"It's the same size as all the rooms. Standard size."  
  
"I see. Hey, that was interesting." Josh paused and saionji frowned "What is?"   
  
"You've just said two sentences without slapping me." Saionji once again frowned "Oh, that. My arm stops working after 9 PM."  
  
"I suppose that would explain the pen you have in your hand..." Saionji looked embarassed "Do you think it makes me look stupid?"  
  
"Nahhh." The green haired teen paused in front of a door "Ah, here's my room."   
  
He opened the door and turned on the light. Josh suddenly felt slightly sick. Several hundered pictures of Anshi in diffrent poses were posterd up on the walls of the room. Saionji blushed slightly  
  
"What do you think?" Josh could only sweatdrop "Well, you certainly have a theme going, don't you?" Saionji only chuckled sheepishly.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Elsewhere Juri is showing Becky her room. Becky paused looking around "What do you think?" Becky nodded "It's clean. That's cool. I especially like the smell in here. You ought to see my room." Juri frowned "Why? Is your room filthy?"  
  
Becky shook her head "No, but it smells different. See, mine resembles the perfume I apply to my pits every morning mixed in with the scent of all the candy bars I hide beneath my bed... mixed with the smell of ants and rodent droppings." Juri nodded "Aha."  
  
"But your room... Hmm... You use men's deoderant, don't you?"  
  
Juri shrugged "What? Ah... Yeah... I do..." She started to slowly break down. "I can't help it! It was Shiori's favorite! Awwwwwww...." She then flopped down onto the bed and started blubbering pounding her fists into the pillow.  
  
(This is just pathetic)Becky thought but walked over and sat down next to her roomate patting her back "There, there, Juri..."  
  
Juri sniffled blowing her nose and looking up at Bwecky with puppy dog eyes "I want my mommy." Becky sighed she was in for a long night.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sarah surveyed Miki's room. THe only thing there was a piano.  
  
"There's not much to see, but I hope you find the room enjoyable."  
  
"There's just a piano. Where's your bed?" She pointed out Miki raised his finger "It's my own invention." He pulled the lid off of the grand piano to reveal a double bed inside "Kind of like a vampire's coffin, don't you think?" Sarah's eye twitched "Yeah... Neat..." (Creepy...)  
  
"Anywhere, there's a cot in the closet, and-URK!" Miki froze and Sarah got that sinking feeling. "Something wrong?"   
  
(My God, I've just realized that I've got a girl other than my sister sleeping in MY room... I must contain myself. I must show restraint...)Miki looked to his guest "Uh, I've gotta go get some water. I'll be right back." He said running out of the room, then leaving the building and running out into the fountain. "EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" He returns to his room soaking wet."OK, I'm back." Sarah could only sweatdrop.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Heather and Danielle looked around Utena and Anshi's room. Utena smiled gesturing around the room.  
  
"Make yourselves at home, girls!"  
  
"Thanks. Ummm..." While Heather struggled for words Danielle was trying to figure out where she was going to sleep "Let's see... I can't sleep in the dresser; there's a mongoose in there. I can't sleep under the bed; there's an alligator. What'm I supposed to do?" Anshi smiled grabbing the poor teen by the neck and stroking her hair again "It's OK, George! You can sleep with me, yes you can!"  
  
(Oh, goodie. She'll probably suffocate me)The red head thought to herself before answering "Oh, that sounds great! Really... nice."  
  
"Yay!" She promptly throws her into her bed and climbs on top of the poor teen "You're gonna be a great pillow, George!" She fell asleep with her head on poor Danielle's stomach preventing her from moving at all." Danielle looked at her friend with a pathetic face "Help." Heather frowned "Sorry. You're on your own on this one, Danielle"  
  
"Ah, so where're you gonna sleep?" Utena asked   
  
"Is there a closet nearby?" Utena pointed to the closet "Well, there's one over there, but..."   
  
"I'll go in there." She proceeded to walk over to the closet and open the door. She does this and finds herself being caught by a huge squid tentecale. Utena frowned slightly "Hey, someone switched the balloon with a real thing! I wonder who'd do that?!"  
  
"ACK." She finally managed to free herself "OK, I'm sleeping in the bathroom." Utena nodded "OK, but whatever you do, don't open the medicine cabinet, or-"  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Meanwhile the younger sister of a certain Amish wannabe was trying to sleep. Easter Island boy was lying on the floor. She frowned and glared at the should be 'Hard headed' teen "You say you have to go to the bathroom? Then get up! ...Whaddya mean you can't get up? Well, no wonder! Sheesh... Hold it until morning!" She remarked turning out the lights leaving the poor boy in the dark.   
  
----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Midnight is of course the time when everyone should be sleeping however at Ohtori it just means some weird shits about to go down. Why not start with the chaos in Saionji's room?  
  
A putrid sound like someone farted rang out "Hey." Josh frowned yawning "What?" Saionji looked to teh brown haired teen "Was that you farting?"   
  
"Me? No...." He looked slightly insulted  
  
"Well, it wasn't me." Saionji remarked as the sound rang out again  
  
"There it is again." Josh paused listening "I wonder who it could be?" It sounded again and Saionji was getting fed up with the sound and the SMELL! "This isn't funny!"  
  
"Ugh. I guess this proves the theory of diffusion. Phaugh!" He put two fingers over his nose to try to block out the smell. It happened again "That does it! I'm turning on the light!" Saionji turned on the light and both jumped in suprise at what was before them. Yoda is sitting on a stack of magazines and farting aimlessly. Saionji threw something at the green Jedi Master before yelling "Hey, get lost, you pruny green dipwad!" Yoda then lept out the window and ran off through the courtyard, laughing crazily and still passing gas.  
  
Saionji left the window open so the place could air out "That stupid puppet's been poppin' up and poppin' off everywhere. He wants a sequel." Josh looked confused "What?" Saionji shook his head "Never mind."   
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Becky awoke to the sound of Juri's mumbling "Oooh, marshmallows... Yes, please, I'd like one... Woah, that's huge..." Becky looked a little stunned "Oh, boy. I think we can all guess what's going to happen next." She was of course right as the red haired teen proceeded to eat her pillow. "BRAAAAAAAAAAP" Becky's eyes got wide "Hoo boy." Juri smiled "Strawberries... Sure, I'd like some strawberries..." Becky frowned and looked around the room "Strawberries? What here in this room has the color of..." Becky  
  
screamed as Juri latched onto her head "This is what I get for using strawberry-scented shampoo! YEEEEEOOOWWWW!!!"  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Meanwhile in Miki's room, Sarah is sleeping soundly on the cot when the piano opens up. Miki then emerges from the Piano wearing a black cape and a tuxedo, Fangs are visible in his mouth as he walks over to Sarah a cruel smirk on his face. Which is most unfiting. "Ahh, a fresh victim for my ever-growing army of the undead, blah!"  
  
Sarah looked up and yawned not even being phased "What? What was that?" Miki frowned and tried to look threatning. "Hey, you were supposed to stay asleep, blah!" Sarah frowned and threw a pillow at Miki "Miki, quit playing around... You're not a vampire in any of the episodes..." She muttered before falling asleep again.   
  
"What is with you, blah? I'm a big, scary, bloodsucking vampire, blah! Oh, well. I don't care if you fear me or not. I'll suck your blood anyway, blah!" Suddenly the lights turned on and Miki and his twin sister Kozue walked in Miki was talking and smiling at her "So then I said "lemme help you play that tune," and then-" Kozue frowned and pointed to the Other Miki "Miki, what's that vampire doing over there?" Miki looked frustrated "Oh, not you again! Hey, Count Mikelangelo! Scat already!" The Vampire looked indignantly at his blue haired counterpart "What? No, blah! I like it here, blah!"  
  
"SCRAM!!!" He said holding up a cross which cause Count Mikelangelo to hiss and leap out of the window. Kozue looked proudly to her brother "Well, you sure showed him." Miki sighed slightly relieved "Sheesh. Vampires: You rent out your room to 'em once and they think they're members of your family."   
  
"Miki, go to sleep... ZZZZZZZ" Sarah muttered in her sleep Miki sighed "Sad that she'll never realize I saved her life."  
  
Kozue nodded "That happens with all the pretty girls, doesn't it? You invite 'em in, Count Mikelangelo shows up and they never wake up to see you drive him away." Miki nodded sadly "Sad but true."  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Anshi slept through the whole night on top of poor Danielle. The red haired cat girl lay awake her eyes wide "Can't sleep. Akio will eat me. Can't sleep. Akio will eat me." Utena frowned "Man, that cat's a broken record. I know! I'll go see how Heather's doing." Utena proceeded to creep into the bathroom where Heather was sleeping in the shower with all her clothes on and a hat over her face. Utena smiles "Awwww, like a little angel..." Heather began mumbling something in her sleep "I said quit humpin' my leg, you stupid dog... Ha! How d'ya like THEM apples, ya dumb mutt?..." She sweatdropped "Errrr... I'll just pretend I didn't hear that."  
  
"Agh, get off me, you stupid mutt... Get! Stupid... Argh..." Utena frowned "HEAD FOR THE HILLS! THE DAM'S BROKEN!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!"  
  
Heather then proceeded to grab Utena by the neck slamming her head into the tile wall in the show. She is then knocked out and falls on her. She of course wakes up " ...Huh? Hey, did you want to use the bathroom? Hello? Hello? Huh." Heather shoved her out of the shower and then went back to sleep. 


	4. The Akio Car Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Revolutionary Girl Utena so don't sue me.  
  
___________________________________________________________________  
  
CHAPTER 4  
  
THE AKIO CAR CHAPTER  
  
A few days pass with typical abnormal activity that wasn't weird enough to write about. On the sixth day of the first week...  
  
Akio smirked to himself as he sat down in his chair next to Kanae "The time has come." Kanae looked up from her book slightly confused "What're you talking about?" Akio jumped up pointing a finger into space "I must go!" She proceeded to run outside and hop into the Akio Car before driving away. Kanae simply shook her head and sighed "I guess the midlife crisis hit early."  
  
Akio smirked to himself once more "Time for me to try and corrupt those new kids... eh heh heh..."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Meanwhile Utena and Heather are trying to play tennis in the courtyard   
  
"You know, now that you have that Rose Ring, you're a duelist, and you'll have to fight some of the other students." Heather frowned "Who?"   
  
"Oh, you know... most of the kids tutoring your pals and me."  
  
"Oh. Is that all?"  
  
"Hey, if you win, you get the Rose Bride. Isn't that a great prize?"  
  
Heather looked over towards the garden and her most unfortunate friends whom Anshi has dressed in a baby bonnet and wheeling around in a stroller. Heather only nodded "...Yeah. Greeeeeat."  
  
"Hey, you don't know what the guys on this campus would give up to get that kind of treatment." Utena remarked defensivly "Oogah."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sarah tapped her foot impateiently waiting for Miki to wake up. "Man, where is he? Leave it to a guy to sleep in. I'll just go and bug him til he wakes up..." After another few minutes of waiting Sarah decides to wake him up herself. She felt her eyes about to bug out as she saw Miki and his SISTER Kozue sleeping in the piano with their arms thrown over eachother. "Gyaaaaahhhh!!!! That is SO wrong!!!" She said hysterically as Miki began to wake up "Wha?... Hmm... Huh?..." He noticed her glaring at him and looked around frantically "Oh, ummm... Kozue's afraid of the dark, and one thing lead to another, and, ahhhh..." Sarah smacked a hand to her forehead "Good grief."  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
Heather frowned getting the details in order before she spoke. "So, let me get this straight: I'm going to have to fight the slaphappy green-haired guy, the eyelashless orange-haired chick, the eyelash-loaded, blue-haired guy, the white-haired snot, the redheaded womanizer AND you before I can get ahold of this "Rose Bride?""  
  
Utena chuckled slightly "Well, when you put it that way it doesn't sound so glamorous, but you've got the idea." Heather frowned seeing no point to the entire thing "Couldn't I just pay for her?"  
  
"What've you got?"  
  
"I have an American Express card." She said pulling out a wallet Utena frowned and shook her head "Sorry. Akio won't accept anything but Visa, and he only rents her out anyway." heather snapped her fingers "Nuts."   
  
It was highly unusual that Touga would walk into a room not accompanied by about teen throusand giggling school girls. But of couse he did "Ahem..." His did this apparently expecting something. Well none the less he got something. A five minute silence. "...Yeah?" Utena looked at him a little bored "......Line!"  
  
A Gofer then popped up out of thin air and scribbles his lines on a cue card the began holding the cue card up. Heather and Utena sweatdropped in the background as he cleared his throat. "Prepare to be taken to the place where all your wishes are granted!"  
  
As he said this Akio, and his Car, a sleek looking red sportscar commonly known as 'The Akio Car'. Heather known for her bad luck is right in the cars path as Akio fails to apply the breaks fast enough and runs over Heather. He then put the car in PARK and looked back "Don't blame me. You had plenty of time to get out of the way." He remarked to Heather who pulled herself out from under the car "Don't worry about it. I've been run over by better cars than that anyway." Akio did his best to contain his rage and spoke through gritted teeth "What?"  
  
Heather put a hand on the back of her head and laughed "Yeah, I was squished by some pretty cool cars before..."  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
Heather is seen walking down a street in Gotham City. She Pauses to cross a street to get to the bus stop "Let's see.. that pink-haired girl sleeping in the coffin said that I could catch the 26-B to Nutley right over here. I-" She heard a fierce roar and turned left just in time to see the Batmoblie flatten her. Just as this happens a bus going in the opposite direction runs over her to. She pulled herself to her feet and tried to regain her balance "Hey, that was the 26-B! DOGGONE IT!"   
  
*FLASHBACK TWO*  
  
Heather is now seen walking down the street in London. She frowns and scratches her head "I wonder where that kid that sold me the Princess Scout cookies went? I needed to tell her she gave me an extra box of Tugalongs, and-" She says this and the James Bond car comes screeching out from a corner just as one of it's on-board missles launched and blew poor Heather sky high. She lands just in time to be run over again. She forced herself to sit up "Errrrgh... Maybe Mr. Bond shouldn't drink and do it at the same time... I saw that lady's foot hit the missile launcher... ughhhh... Well, no use just sitting here. I have to-" She finds herself stopped in mid sentence as Mr. Bean's car runs over her and then proceeded to hit a three wheeled car.  
  
(End Flashbacks)   
  
Heather finished and eyed Akio "See?"   
  
Akio crossed his arms pouting "Hmmmph. OK, you've got me on the Bond car, but even that couldn't take you to the world of your desires. Get in, kid."  
  
Utena frowned "I would suggest that you don't go, Heather..."   
  
Heather nodded glaring at Akio "I don't think I will. He IS a stranger, and you should never accept rides from strangers."  
  
Akio smirked "Oh, come on! I have candy!" He said holding up a lollipop. HEathers eyes lit up "Sold!" She proceeded to hop in the back seat. Touga got into the front seat next to Akio and the car drove off "....(Grumble grumble obscenity grumble)"  
  
While the car drove towards what the students had labeled as "The END of the World Heather eyed teh large array of buttons and special features in the back of the car as she licked her lollipop."Hmmm... Air conditioning, tape player, CD player, mini-TV, cigarette lighter... this place has the works!" Akio smirked "I know. I added most of them myself." Touga leaned over to whisper to the dean "What're you going to do with her, anyway?" Akio got that sadistic smile on his face "I'll drive her to my Florida house and seduce her."  
  
Meanwhile in the backseat Heather was eyeing that big red buttong that said 'DO NOT PRESS'. IN a voice like DeeDee from dexters labratory she lifted her finger towards the button and asked "Hey, what does this button do?"  
  
Akio's eyes widened in fear " No, wait! DON'T PRESS THAT-"  
  
Of course Heather isn't going to listen is she? She proceeded to hit the button and herself and Touga are ejected from the car and proceeded to fly into the darkness. Akio looked slightly relieved "...Oh, that was the ejection seat, not the self-destruct! Whew... I've got to get warning labels for my little red buttons." He shrugged and continued to drive into the blackness "   
  
Heather and Touga crash down facing each other, Heather dusted herself off as she got up and looked to Touga. Who was for one reason or another in a sort of glass case that was currently filling up with water. Heather looked highly amused "Hey, are you going to do that Houdini escape trick? I LOVE that one! Try to do it in under five minutes!  
  
(Man, this kid's thicker than the width of my-) Touga throught to himself "Hey, I'm dead. I drowned a long time ago. Don't you see that, kid?"  
  
Heather proceeded to look oblivious "No." Touga looked frustrated his red hair floating in the water "Oh, for crying out loud..." The water has filled up to the top and Touga proceeded to swim upwards and crawls out falling on top of Heather "URGGH You feel real enough." She remarked as he proceeded to get off of her "I know. It was just a symbolic gesture. Now, let's get out of here. You don't even want to begin to know what's out here." Just as he says this Water starts filling up the glass case that the two are in now "Son of a-"  
  
"Relax. I have a plan." Heather remarked nocholantly.  
  
__________________________________________________________________  
  
Meanwhile, Akio has driven back to Ohtori and is contemplating who to try to seduce next "That was fun. Let's see, who shall I seduce now?..." He then spotted Becky and Juri walking into the gym for fencing practce. He placed a hand on his chin in thought "Hmmm..."  
  
The two were of course unaware of the deans precence as Juri spoke "Your form is improving, Becky. You'll be a fine duelist." Becky looked puzzled "What?"  
  
Juri sweatdropped "Whoops! Did I make a little booboo? I meant 'fencer.'"  
  
"You've sure been acting strange ever since I've showed up." Becky said raising an eyebrow "Ahhhh... It must be the temperature. I go crazy if the humidity goes up beyond 62 percent. I mean, it's not like I like you, or anything, and-URK! I mean, I don't think about you all the time, and- EEERRRGH!"  
  
Becky sweatdropped at Juri's actions "Ah ha." Juri then proceeded to break down again "I can't help it! Ever since Shiori left me I've been SOOOO LONELYYYYYY!!!! BWAAAAAAAAAAAH-HAAAAAAAHHHH-HAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"  
  
(Here we go again)"There, there, Juri..." She proceeded to pat Juri on the back. Just sniffed "Would you pat a little lower?..."  
  
Becky shrugged "Sure." She patted a little lower. Juri looked slightly happier "Oh, yeah. Oooh, that's the spot. (BURP)"  
  
"I'm not doing it again."  
  
Akio's car suddenly came crashing though the wall, not nearly as formal as he was with Heather "Get in. The world of your desires awaits."  
  
Juri frowned at him "You know, the janitor's still angry about the last time you did that." Akio ignored the red head "Come along." he said throwing the blonde in the backseat "Well, it'll be a welcome change, considering that I've been listening to Juri blubbering for the past week."  
  
Akio smirked "You will enjoy this world, I assure you."  
  
Becky eyed the front seat. "Now, I know that I'm only 16, and I don't even have my learner's permit, but... can I drive?" Akio frowned "No."  
  
"Pleeeeeeeeease?"  
  
"No."  
  
At this point the blonde haired teen had resorted to begging "Pretty pretty pretty pretty pleeeeeease?!"   
  
Akio smirked "Will you service me sexually for it?"  
  
"Sure!" He frowned once more   
  
"No."  
  
At this point Becky was practically leaning over the drivers seat "Awwww... Lemme just hold the steering wheel!" She leans forward putting her hands on the steering wheel. Akio was just about to have a cow "Get your hands off my car!" The car had begun to swerve all around "Wheeee! This is fun!" Becky had never been so happy Akio however was about to have a heart attack "Stop! STOP! If I don't take the right exit on the Purgatory Interstate, who knows where we'll turn up!!!"  
  
"What?" She made the car do a hard right turn and they went crashing off into the darkness. The darkness fades and the car is orbiting around saturn. Akio gave Becky a death glare. The teen chuckled nervously "Eh heh heh... Oops?"  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Back in the Ohtori courtyard Utena is frowning worriedly "Heather's been gone a long time. I wonder if-"  
  
As she says this a splash is heard as Heather and Touga crawl out of the fountain in full scuba gear "Having those scuba suits on you was a stroke of genius."  
  
Heather gestured towards her pants pockets as she removed the scubba suit "Hey, it pays to have deep pockets."  
  
Utena looked from one to another "You guys are OK?" Touga laughed "Akio would have seduced her if she hadn't pulled the ejection seat lever." He snickered "Man, you should have seen the look on that purple-haired freak's face when we went flying! It was a riot!!!"  
  
Utena frowned "I've never heard of anyone escaping Akio's car before." She proceeded to get starry eyed "You MUST be my prince!"  
  
Heather frowned looking both puzzled and annoyed "What is it with you and this whole 'Prince' thing anyway?"  
  
Touga looked at his watch "Uh-oh! I have to go; Akio's scheduled to try to seduce the cat next. See you later!" He said taking off down the sidewalk "...Oh, well. Shall we get back to the tennis match?"  
  
Utena sweatdropped and sighed heavily as the teen proceeded to walk off like none of this had ever happened.  
  
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Danielle was not a happy camper when Touga arrived at Anshi's bridcage of a garden. She was still being pushed around in a baby carriage "I sure wish she'd do that to me." He sighed then looked around "...Where IS he?..."  
  
Fifteen minutes and 99 death threats from Danielle to Anshi and Akio is nowhere in sight "Oh, hell. I'll just do my line now and he can crash later. Hey, cat! Yeah, you!" Danielle frowned "What? Sorry, It's hard to hear with this baby bonnet on!" Anshi smacked her on the top of her head "Be quiet, George! It's rude to interrupt someone when they talk to you!" Touga proceeded to speak "Prepare to be taken to the place where all your wishes are granted!" Touga seems shocked, Danielle is nearly hysteric and Anshi just stands looking stupid as Akio's car comes crashing through the wall. Suprisedly one time. Becky lets go of the wheel "Wow! What a rush! Danielle, you've GOT to try riding in here! It's so cool!!!"  
  
Danielle frowned crossing her arms "I don't know, Becky. Must I repeat the story of the horrible trauma that man made me suffer?"  
  
Akio smirked resting a hand on his chin "Do tell." Dnaielle hissed at him angrily. Becky smiled pulling Danielle towards the car throwing her in the back seat "Oh, come on! You two will be best friends in no time!"   
  
Akio smirked slightly "Yes, best friends... of course..." He looked back to the red haired cat girl and licked his lips. Danielle wimpered as he started teh car and began to drive off Anshi waving as they left "Byyyyye! Take care of George, big brother!"   
  
The car is speeding through the darkness yet again as Becky and Danielle are sitting in the backseat "You're going to love where we end up. It's a real scream. All your wildest dreams will be fulfilled."   
  
Becky's eyes lit up "You mean I can finally swim in an ocean of spaghetti and ham without having to pay for it all and getting weird looks from the neighbors?"  
  
Akio sweatdropped "Uh... yeah." Danielle looked out of the side of the car her face rather pale "Ohhhh... I don't feel so hot..."  
  
Becky placed a hand on the girls head "Danielle, do you have a fever??" Danielle shook her head "It's all the stuff flyin' past... I can't keep up with it... I think I'm gonna- " She bent down till her head was touching the back of Akio's seat The scream was heard around the world "NOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
Danielle raised up looking slightly relieved "AAAAACKTHPPPPH) Oh... I feel better now."   
  
Akio stopped the car "OK, that's it! We're not going anywhere!"  
  
Becky glared at the red head "Thanks a lot,Danielle! Now I'll never be able to do the spampaddle!"  
  
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Meanwhile in the cafeteria Saionji and Josh ar cooking things on the stoves "Gee, Mr. Saionji, I've learned a lot from you in the past week. And this slap-proof helmet I made works like a dream!"  
  
As if to prove it Saionji slaps Joshs head, the helmet then gave off an electric charge and shocked him "Aaagh! You get high marks for ingenuity." He remarked staring at his crispy hand "  
  
Just as he said this Akio's car came crashing through the wall, Akio then hit the eject seat button and Becky and Danielle do flying out. The land in chairs meraculiosly unharmed "That was fun!"  
  
Danielle frowned still looking sick "Gurrrrrgghhhh... I always get sick in moving vehicles that have been tainted with black magic..." Akio stood up and gestured to Josh "Come to a world of your strongest desires! Err... Get in the front seat, OK?"  
  
Josh shrugged "All right." He does as he's told and Akio drives off. Touga comes in looking flustered "I'm here! I'm here! I... oh, NUTS! Is he gone already?! This is going to come out of my paycheck, I'm sure of it..."  
  
Akio smirked as the drove along "I like you, Josh. You've clever and innovative. You could replace Saionji on the student council if you'd like." Josh frowned "Student council? Me? Well, I don't know..."  
  
"Oh, come now. Think about it, my boy." He reach over to pat Josh on the head. Big mistake, Josh is still wearing the shock helmet Akio is electrocuted and passes out "...Whoops. Ah, well. I might as well drive." Josh pushed Akio into the back of the car and grabbed the wheel and put on the left turn signal.  
  
An hour and twelve french fries later Miki and Sarah are in the music room playing the piano "Just relax your fingers and let them do the playing. Breathe in and out, in and out..."  
  
Sarah looked to the blue haired teen "Are you a yoga teacher in your spare time?"   
  
Miki shook his head "No, I just act like one."  
  
Sarah frowned "So, ah, what was that whole, ah, thing, ah, with you and, ah, your sister, ah, in the piano?"  
  
Miki frowned "Oh, that? I already told you. She's afraid of the dark."  
  
Sarah shook her head "Riiiiight. Prove it."  
  
"All right." Miki whistled "Kozue!"  
  
Kozue appeared in the doorway "Yeah, Miki?"  
  
"Go and lock yourself in the closet." He pointed to the nearby closet "OK!" She nodded and ran over to the closet going inside and closing the door. After about five seconds they was a sound of mass hysteria emerging from it "Let me out! LET ME OUT! AAAAHHHH!!! THE CLOWN... HE'S GONNA EAT ME!!! AAAAHHHH!!! THE ALIENS ARE GONNA PROBE ME!!! AHHHHH!!! Hey, Jimmy Hoffa's in here!"  
  
Touga suddenly runs into the room out of breath and sweaty. He raised a hand "Nobody's going to stop me from saying my lines this time! Ahem... Prepare to be taken to the place where all your wishes are granted!" ON cue Akio's car crashes into the wall, it hits the piano which flies backwards and hits the closet door. Kozue poked her head out, "I'm free!"  
  
Miki looked angry "Akio, I've told you a million times not to hit the piano!"  
  
Much to everyones suprise it was not Akio but Josh whom emerged from the car "Sorry." He said as the three in room did a group "HUH?!"  
  
Josh is sitting in the drivers sear of the Akio car, he holds a paper sack in one hand and there's a soda can in the cup holder "Akio short-circuted himself, so I drove. I just stopped at Burger King. Akio wasn't hungry, so only I ate. Hey, who wants an extra Big Mac?"  
  
Kozue raised her hand bouncing slightly "Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!" Josh tossed the food to Kozue who wolfs it down "Thank you! Ooh, I'm gonna shave your eyebrows GOOD tonight!"  
  
Josh looked puzzled "...Eh?" A groan is hear as Akio climbed out of the back seat with flecks of....something...coating parts of his face "Errrrrgh... These kids are nuts... You, lifeguard girl! Get over here!"  
  
Sarah shook her head "No way. I know where that car goes." She said crossing her arms. Touga frowned "Just go." He said as he stuck   
  
Saarah in the back seat. "Hey, I said I didn't wanna get in! Ewww, someone threw up back here, and someone else stepped in it!"  
  
Akio frowned "Well, not "stepped" exactly... Come along, we're going for a ride." Sarah got that look of rebelion in her eyes "I don't think so!" She said pulling out a swiss army knife and plunging it into the rear right tire, she then hops over the regergitation and knifes the rear left tire. Akio has a look of distress on his face "HEY!!! What're you doing?!"  
  
"You would not believe the symbolism in doing this." She said to no one as Akio fumed with rage "Why you little... Well, we can still drive, even with two flat-" He then got a look at the fuel gage which boldly stated EMPTY. "AAAAHHHH!!! WHAT IS THIS?! It's ALWAYS FULL!!! WHERE'S MY GAS?!" What he didn't know was there was a large pipe connected to the bottom of the car which connected with the other pipes that lead down into the cafeteria, where Saionji is filling up oil drums "There we go. Fifty gallons of pure petrolium I can cook with. Thank you, Mr. Satan." He said saluting up at the ceiling towards Akio.  
  
Back in the music room Akio is still furious "ARRRRGH! That does it!!! You're in for it now, kid!" He was now somehow holding a bag of gummi bears he pulled out from somewhere. Sarah looked a little   
  
frightened "Oh, no!!!"  
  
She tried to run but Akio leaps on her and begins to stuff gummi bears into her mouth by the handfuls "Take THAT! And THAT! And THAT!"  
  
"MMMMRRRRRRFFFF"  
  
Kozue frowned "Should we... help her?"  
  
Josh continued staring on "Don't worry; it looks like she's about to help herself." Akio is still stuffing gummi bears into Sarah's mouth, until there are so many cramped into such a small spot that one pops back out and flies into Akio mouth "GRAAAAGGGHHHHH!!! I'm gummi-intolerant! BLAAAUUUCHHHHH!!! I've gotta find an easier kid to seduce! Ohhh, I'm gonna be sick..." He said as he got into his car and drove away. "Ack! GHAAACK." Kozue looked slightly panicked "Oh, no! She's choking on the gummi bears!"  
  
"Someone do a heimlich maneuver!" Josh suggested. Touga frowned "It won't work. There's too many gummis and they've already begun to fuse together."  
  
Miki raised a hand "I know what this calls for." He said justly as he pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number "Hello? Yeah, it's Miki. Lissen, are they still chasing you? Good. Listen, I want you to run through this room... OK? Good." He said hanging up then looking back to the rest of them "Help is on the way."  
  
Everyone watches as Sailor Mercury comes charging through the room, followed by three huge sumo wrestlers. Before they pursue her out the window, they all body-slam Sarah. On the third slam, the huge ball of gummi bears goes flying out of her mouth and sticks to the ceiling. Sarah breathed a sight of relief "Whew... Thanks, Miki!"  
  
Miki blushed "You're welcome." And Kozue pouted "Hmmph. Traitor."  
  
Miki frowned at his siter "Don't start THAT again!"  
  
Becky frowned "Guys, that gummi bear ball is looking like it's gonna fall..." SHe pointed out just as Anshi came charging into the room "George! Are you OK?" As if this wasn't either his own or Danielle's day Mikage leapt out from ubehind a curtain laughing maniaclly "Ah ha ha ha! Die, Anshi! DIE-"  
  
The gummi bear ball falls and bops him on the head, knocking him out and sending him crashing to the floor. Touga pointed and laughed at the poor pink haired black rose duelist imatating Nelson laugh "Ha-hah!"  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Meanwhile Nanami and the Easter Island Boy are trying to work in the theater "Come on! Don't just sit there like a rock! Say your lines! Repeat after me: "Hark! Through what light doth yonder window breaks?"  
  
The Akio car came crashing through knocking down the scenery. Nanami smacked her forehead "Hey, Stonehenge kid! Get in the backseat." he ordered, Easter Island boy walked over and got in the car. The Front of the car lifted up and the wheels spin helplessly in the air. Akio looked frustrated and started to break down "Why me?... WHY ME?..."  
  
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	5. Paint is Hell

Disclaimer: I do not own Revolutionary Girl Utena so don't sue me.  
  
Authoress Notes: If some of you can't tell I make the characters I like comic relief, Which is why Bakura and Pegasus are such idiots in my Yu-Gi-Oh! fics.  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
CHAPTER 5  
  
PAINT IS HELL  
  
The rest of the week passed without much comment. Finally on Friday Heather finds a note under Utena's door addressed to her. She frowned slightly "Hey, what's this?" Utena shook her head a worried expression on her face "Uh-oh... That's got a rose seal on the back. It's from the 'End of the World," also known as the student council." she said in a mystic tone Heather frowned as she read the letter "Hmmm... "You have been scheduled for a duel with current Rose Bride holder Utena Tenjou for this afternoon. Bring all your friends with you, as this will be a much bigger duel than usual."  
  
Utena frowned as she ate at an apple "A duel, huh? Well... I guess this means I'm your enemy until it's over."   
  
Heather looked puzzled "You are?"  
  
"Yes. We will duel for posession of the Rose Bride, Anshi." Heather frowned not exactly enthused "I have to? You can just have her, you know."   
  
Utena smiled trying to get her roomate into the spirit "Oh, come on. It's no fun if you just give her to me. You HAVE to do it!"  
  
Heather simply shrugged "Pshhh... Fine."   
  
Utena developed a happy expression on her face "Great! I'll teach you to use a sword."   
  
Heather frowned "A sword?" She said before producing a father "I have a sword. In fact, this is mightier. Ben Franklin said so."  
  
Utena sweatdropped "Oh, boy..."  
  
Cut to the shadow girls sketch   
  
A-Ko would have been frowning if you had been able to see her face, but the fact that she was simply a shadow prevented her from doing that as she spoke to B-Ko "I wonder, I wonder, do you wonder what I wonder?"  
  
B-Ko seemed slightly excited "There's gonna be a duel between Utena and the foreigner this afternoon!"  
  
A-Ko shook her head and raised a hand "Who'll win? I don't know."  
  
B-Ko would have been smirking if anyone took a guess as she spoke "All I know is that it's gonna be a much more interesting duel than before..." A-ko turned to her partner in crime with her hands on her hips "What's that supposed to mean?"   
  
"It's because-" She was about to say something when Josh walked in only his shadow visible "Excuse me, is this the public restroom?" only to be greeted by an "AAAAAHHHHHH!!!"   
  
He shut the door and was standing out in the hallway of some random building "Jeez, if looks could kill..." He said quickly shaking his head and walking away a little stunned.  
  
Later that afternoon, we see Utena guiding Heather through the dueling forest. Becky, Sarah, Danielle, and Josh are tagging along as Utena went over proper dueling posture and ediquet "Stand up straight. Don't slouch! Hey, put that ring back on!" Heather frowned "Do I have to wear this ring? It itches."   
  
Utena frowned "Hey, we've all got problems. Besides, if you win this duel, I'll KNOW that you're my prince!"  
  
Heather sweatdropped again (Oh, God, not with the whole prince thing again)She frowned "You know you really should check out computer dating services, Ute." She said with a frown as they finally reached the castle. However where the staircase should have been wasn't there. "Hey, what gives?" Utena asked with a frown. As if on cue all the Ohtori duelists and a few others come out of the bushes. Each one is wearing googles and holding a gun with red spheres in a canister on top. "Surprise!" Touga was the first to speak and Utena looked puzzled "Hey! What's going on here?!"   
  
Saionji frowned slightly as he explained "We're trying a new approach for dueling for the Rose Bride."  
  
"Why?" Utena asked with a frown. Enter Miki's portion of the explainations "Well, what with all the latest school budget cuts, Akio had to dissolve the dueling budget down to next to nothing. We can't use the battlefield up the stairs and we don't have any roses." Sarah frowned "Hey! I thought Akio could do whatever he wanted!"   
  
Miki only sweatdropped at the newer students comment "You should have seen him in his meeting with Dr. Harvey yesterday.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Akio Ohtori fidgeted in his seat, which was in a room that promptly belonged to that nightmare known as Doctor Harvey. Which was almost as bad as being stuck alone in a room with Martha Stewart. He frowned at the She-Devil and her group of Yes-Men "Come on! I NEED that money for my roses!" He said for once in a pleading voice. The Evil woman smirked and looked to her 'Yes-Men "Hmmm... Should I give him any money?" She asked them "No, Dr. Harvey!" They responded simultaniously the woman smirked waving a finger in front of the chairmans face "Nope." Akio looked defeated "Awwww..." In voice that sounded like the woman on the weakest link sto promptly pushed a button ejecting Akio from the off "Goodbye."  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
Utena sweatdropped "...It's funny in a sad sort of way." Juri continued with her portion of the explaination "As you can see, we've had to change our tactics. Now every duelist in the school will be competing with every other duelist in a last-person-standing fight to the finish." Heather looked fearful "In what?"   
  
They all seemed rather excited despite not using swords for dueling as they yell out the answer to Heathers question "PAINTBALL!!!"  
  
Utena sweatdropped once more "Oh, how the mighty have fallen." Heather looked rather devious "Sounds better than dueling with roses." She remarked.  
  
After everyone got properly equipped to fight, a special guest star came out to explain the rules. This special guest was none other than the meatball head known as Sailor Moon. "All right, folks, here's the game plan!" Juri whispered something to Utena "You know, her voice sounds awfully familiar..."   
  
"The six teams of players will be as follows: On the Oveila Team-"  
  
Danielle frowned and stopped the blonde "Woah, woah, woah. You're naming the teams after characters from Final Fantasy Tactics?"   
  
Sailor moon looked slightly offended by the red haired cat girl "Why not? It's my favorite game." She said clearing her throat and continueing "On the Oveila Team will be Nanami, Mitsuru and Easter Island Boy."  
  
Nanami looked pleased "Good. I've got two shields." The blonde continued "On the Rafa Team will be Kozue, Shiori and Danielle." The red haired looked between her two team mates and chuckled nervously "Great. I'm not gonna survive this am I?" She asked nervously.  
  
"On the Meliaodul Team will be Sarah, Touga and Miki."  
  
Miki smiled once again at his roomate "Looks like we'll be working together." Sarah smiled as well "It'll be a pleasure." Touga smirked as well "Believe me, it will." Sarah sweardropped at this "Oh, yeah. I forgot about him."  
  
"On the Delita Team will be Kanae, Wakaba and Mikage."  
  
Mikage snapped his fingers, an angry expression on his pale face "Curses! Anshi is nowhere around. How did I get myself into this?"  
  
Wakaba took this moment to smack the black rose duelist upside the head frowning something she rarely did. "Oh, quit complaining. I don't know either of you guys." She whined.  
  
"Moving on... The Agrias Team will consist of Becky, Juri and Utena."  
  
Utena frowned "Despite our past differences, please don't shoot me."  
  
Juri assured her "Don't worry; I won't." Becky smirked loading the paintball gun "If either of you shoot the other, I'll be there to gun down the rest of ya!" THis caused both of her fellow teamates to fall over sweatdropping "Great."  
  
"Finally, on the Mustadio Team there's Heather, Saionji and Josh."  
  
Josh seemed a little less worried about getting smacked this time,  
  
"Looks like we're working together again, Saionji!" He however forgot that he wasn't wearing his pattented SHock Helmet and recieved a smack from his roomate. Who looked at his hand slightly relieved an evil little smirk on his face "Yes... Just like old times."  
  
"Remember, if you get hit, you're dead. Have fun!"   
  
Anshi sat beside Sailor Moon an oblivious look on her face as she nibbled at the leftover paint projectiles "I like the green ones." She said to the blonde who looked puzzled.  
  
Nanami was slightly giddy as they entered the first of Ohtori's 'Paint Wars. " We'll show 'em, troops! We'll flush them out and gun 'em down! Ooh, I've always wanted to be a military commander!" She said to herself. Of course the Dean always found a way in intrude on the duels, why not stick in for the paint wars? Akio sat in the observatory window with a paintball gun in his hands, he snickered as he observed the players. "Perfect. Now I've got just the opportunity to knock out some of the people I don't like. I'll start with the white-haired freak down there." He smirked pointing the paintball gun at Nanami fireing "Oh, no! He's shooting at us!" Mitsuru felt the need to point this out to his once girlfriend the only answer he got was "Don't just sit there! Protect me!" As she grabbed the poor blonde child holding him up to block the shot Akio had fired. Which splattered all over him. He sighed in defeat "Awww..." This only caused Nanami to yell at him "Oh, don't be a baby. You, Stonehenge! Get that sniper!" She turned from the blonde to the stone head who looked up towards the tower where Akio was firing. Course looking up isn't a very good Idea when your head weights ten times as much as your body. He fell over onto the ground and couldn't get up, Nanami frowned kicking the side of his large stone head "Ahhh, you're worthless!" She remarked before shooting him in the head before she walked off. Leaving her lackeys behind.   
  
Mikage Souji, Black rose duelist, Imaginary living being, immortal, genius, and all around dumb-ass. What was that? The mission impossible theme playing in the background? He hid in the bushes waiting for the first person he saw to come along a devious expression on his face. Ruby eyes filled with malaice...well as much possible for someone who isn't really. "I'll take them all out by striking from the shadows and then I'll destroy the Rose Bride! Mwa ha ha, what a great plan!" He said raising a triumphant fist in the air. Only to have Kanae steal his glory. "Umm, Mikage, aren't we supposed to stick together?" She asked as she tapped on his soulder Wakaba standing impatiently behind her. He for once said something normal that didn't include the evil laugh "You guys go on ahead. I'll catch up." They both shrugged "Well, OK..." THey oth said before turning and walking off "Any minute now, I'll have my first victim..."   
  
Mikage continued his vigilant watch, as Touga walked seeming unsuspisious into his fireing range. Mikage kept his crosshairs on the students council president as he walked by. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, Touga whipped around in a feat of pure speed and shoots, A drop of red Paint dripple across Mikages cross hair, and a tiny spot on his bangs "Dammit! I'm dead! I KNEW I shouldn't have loaned those James Bond movies to him!" He said in defeat. Snapping his fingers in an 'Aww, Nuts' way.  
  
Sarah frowned looking to the red head "What was that for, Touga?" The red head smirked, although he wondered if he'd simply wasted a paintball getting rid of Mikage? "Just shooting at an annoying insect. I'd be honored if you were to join me for dinner tonight. You too, Miki."  
  
Miki looked around nervously (I'm gonna puke now) "Ahhh... Looking forward to it!"   
  
(Why'd I get stuck with this loser in the first place? Ugh...) Sarah asked herself with a frown. Touga wrapped his arm around Sarah's shoulder "Well? What do you say?" Sarah took this moment to smack him using "Shut up or the others'll find us!" As her excuse for doing it.  
  
Juri looked around suspisously as did Becky and Utena, although Juri's suspisously look reeked pure insanity unlike the other two. Utena frowned as she spoke in an almost whisper "Remember, we have to have strategy. If we hear someone coming, we have to separate and hide. When they show up, we all get 'em at the same time!" Becky nodded in agreement "Yeah, we've gotta be extra careful!"   
  
Sarcasm is a wonderful thing, well if you'd call it sarcasm, but just as Becky say's 'Extra Careful' what they DIDN'T Want to happen, Happened and a big black glob of paint hit her back causing her to fell on her face. Thus in a long drawn out MOvie like scene Juri chose to be dramatic "BBBBBBEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCKKKYY!!!!!!"  
  
The blonde frowned as she looked up from her spot on the grown, "I'm not deaf. I can hear you." Utena looked around as Juri proceeded to look embarassed "Who did that?!" The answer came really as no suprise to Becky, whom had relized that Shiori was out to get her as soon as she meet Juri. The maroon haired girl stood in the bushes a smug smile gracing her face. Juri however was angry, she pointed at the maroon haired girl her face growing red "YOU... YOU... YOU..." Shiori looked fearful as Juri took off after her, pulling out two sub machine paint guns in the process and aimed them at her FORMER maroon haired crush. "REVENGE!!!! REVENGE IS MINE!!! AAAAAAH HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!" She cackled like crazy as she started fireing coating Shiori's back with layers of orange paint as the maroon haired teen feel to the ground face down with a loud OOF! "Fine, you got me. That was overkill, you know." She said waving a hand in the air. Juri only began to reload the guns with a slight look of happiness on her face "No it wasn't. That was for everything mean you've ever done to me!" Shiori Frowned "Like when I cut in front of you in the lunch line in third grade?" Juri thought for a moment before shooting her again "Oh, I forgot about that." Shiori mentally kicked herself (I had to open my big mouth...)  
  
Kozue and Danielle stood nearby watching the spectable. Kozue looked slightly relieved "Whoo! Glad I didn't make her mad." Danielle nodded in a calm voice "Likewise."   
  
Juri felt good about herself at that moment "Well, I'm glad that's settled." She said to herself as she felt someone tapping on her shoulder. She turned around to get something she never expecting, a hard slap in the face. She fell to the ground a huge handmark is on her face, which of course is in green paint. Saionji stood over his victim triumphantly as he snickered "Never turn your back to your opponent." Just as he says this he is splattered on the back by a huge black paintball. Danielle was the only one who saw who shot it "Likewise." Akio said with a smirk. Danielle frowned putting a hand on her chin somehow appearing a detective outfit like sherlock holmes holding a large magnifying glass "Something stinks here, and it ain't your perfume, Kozue." She said to the violet haired teen standing next to her looking rather oblivious "Oh, that's good. I wasn't sure whether I should have used 'rancid polecat' today."  
  
Danielle sweatdropped "I've gotta check something out. Catch you later." She said before pulling a string that appeared out of nowhere causing the tail she had somehow grown to rev up (Man She's really getting into this cat girl thing is she not?) And she flew off "Now I'm all alone with three downed players. Nuts." Kozue remarked to herself Before almost getting hit by a huge glob of black paint courtesy of Akio Ohtori. "Aaahhh! Retreat!" She said panic in her voice before she jumped head first into the bushes, of course these were rose bushes and hand thorns but then again...this was Kozue..  
  
Heather frowned to herself as she walked beside Josh in another part of the forest "Where'd Saionji go?" Josh shook his head "I don't know. He said he had to "slap some sense" into some people, whatever that means." Just as he says this Kanae comes charging out of the bushes holding her gun, a phsychotic look on her face that was only seen from her once. And Mikage sure as hell wasn't behind it this time. "HA! You're cornered, foreigners!" Heather frowned   
  
"Uh-oh. Run!" Kanae proceeded to chase Heather and Josh down a path, shooting at them every five steps or so, however no one said Kanae Ohtori had very good aim now did they? "I'll hit one of you eventually! I just need time to-" A shot was fired with narrowly missed Kanae's Head knocking her down.   
  
Akio mocked sympathy for his fallen fiance nothing but sarcasm in his voice as he spoke "Oops. I'm sooo sorry, my sweet."  
  
There was a blur in front of his face, That blur of course now bore the look Lain Iwakura wore as one of her alter ego's in the wired. It was Danielle as she pointed a finger at him "Ha! I KNEW it was You!!" She said. Akio smirked at the red headed cat girl "So? What're you going to do about it?"  
  
She smirked "THIS!!!" Akio looked slightly stunned as Danielle grabbed his leg and held him in midair above the forest by only his left leg. His paintball gun feel harmlessly to the ground but proved what a fall it would be if she dropped him "Hey, what the-"  
  
Oh wait did we say the paint gun landed harmlessly? Pardon that error, but BULLSHIT!!   
  
Nanami sulked angerly though the forest talking to herself "  
  
Oh, I'm gonna get 'em! I'm gonna get every last one of-" She found herself being splattered with paint as Akio's paintgun fell going off in the process Nanami snapped her fingers in defeat "Nuts."  
  
Now, we take you back to the problem at hand.  
  
"Put me down! Put me down! I don't wanna fall out of a window again!" He begged to the red haired cat girl, who smirked at her dominant position. "If you want me to put you down, you've gotta say it!" She smirked as the once proud dean glared at her from his upside down position "NO! I refuse!"   
  
She smirked as she called down to him, "Have it your way. I can stay up here all day." She put emphasis on the words All Day. Akio crossed his arms, the purple tie falling into his face "Nggrrrr..."  
  
The competition had narrowed down by this point. Only Miki, Sarah,Touga, Kozue, Heather, Josh, Wakaba and Utena are left. Speaking of Utena, she walked through the forest feeling sorry for her fallen team mates "Poor Juri. Poor Becky. I'm all alone out here now..." Wakaba took this moment to jump out of the bushes on top of Utena "Glomping time!!!" She proclaimed and Utena shoot her in the  
  
head "Nahh. Stomping time." The onion haired girl fell to the ground "Aaaaagh! I'm blind!!!" She said shouting holding her eyes and kicking her feet. Utena sweatdropped "Try taking off your goggles."  
  
Wakaba did so and jumped around as if some miracle had happened not even caring about her paint covered face "...I can see! I can see! It's a miracle!" Utena sweatdropped "Riiiight."  
  
Touga smirked, he was definately winning this one! Finally proof that he could get women better than Akio could. Okay maybe not...but then again... "I'm serious. You could go far as a member of the student council." He smirked Sarah shook her head " No way."  
  
Touga smirked "I'd make it worth your while..." He said with a wink. Miki frowned at the red head "Should we try the strategy now, Sarah?" Sarah smirked something that didn't seem to suit her "Oh, yes." She whistled loudly Touga looked puzzled "What's happening?"  
  
He asked.   
  
In a truly American Cartoon style Everyone, including the already shot players appeared and surrounded Touga. They opened fire on the unsuspecting Touga leaving him drenched in all sorts of colors of paint.   
  
"Come on! Don't hold back!" That was Utena  
  
"Let 'im have it!" That was Saionji "I CAN SEE HIS EYES! YEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Definetly Miki. After about five minutes of shooting Touga he's covered in head to toe with paint. "Why?" He gasped before falling over. Sarah once again smirked "We all had that planned out from the start." Miki looked to the surrounding paintballers. "Yeah. OK, normal game rules again, everyone!" The previously shot Paintballers feel down where they were standing and the unshot ones ran into the bushes again. Sarah looked to her roomate and partner "  
  
Now that he's out of it, we only have to worry about Heather, Kozue, Josh and Utena. We'll stick together, right, Miki? Miki? Ah... Miki?" Perhaps Miki wasn't as smart as he seemed. He had ran off into the forest ALONE, into a clearing where a very supisous item sat "Hey, a piano! Ooh, I feel like playing!" He   
  
said before running over to the paino starting to play the first keys to 'the sunlight garden' Miki paused and pondered to himself "I wonder what a piano's doing out here... Oh, well." He continued playing, but as soon as it hit the last note of his famous peice, none other than Kozue popped out of the top of the piano. (It's actually quiet fitting that she popped out of something..although I'm thinking it should have been a cake. "Surprise!" She called out her brother looked suprised "aahhh! What're you doing here?!"  
  
"Gettin' revenge for you roomin' with Sarah!" She said simply before shooting him, black paint spattered all over and he fell off of the piano bench. "The old 'piano in the middle of the forest' trick... Damn, I should have known..." He said to himself as Kozue hopped out of the piano with a triumphant look on her face. "No for Sarah!" She said running the way Miki came in.  
  
"Now where could he have gone to?" Sarah asked herself softly As Kozue appeared behind her "Ha! I've got you cornered!" Said pointing her gun at Sarah who looked devous but at the same time innocent. "Now why would you want to shoot me?" She asked. Kozue only glared and launched into her explaination for why Sarah deserved to be shot "You tried to steal my brother away from me! You tried to seduce him! You tried to make me look bad! Furthermore-" Of course while Kozue is explaining Sarah took the time to shoot her. She looked down at the Neon green paint on her clothes " ...Oh. Touche." SHe said before falling down.   
  
"Hhmph!" Sarah felt something splattering on her back turning around she saw the reason. Heather and Josh. Josh frowned looking disappointed "I wanted to shoot Kozue!" He remarked angerily "Why?" Sarah looked puzzled as Jos spoke "She shaved my eyebrows too short. They itch!"  
  
"Oh." She said before falling over. Heather frowned "So, who's left?" Just as she says this Josh is splattered with pink paint. Heather whips around to see Utena behind her with a smoking paintball gun in her hand. "It's just you and me, Lou. Think you can shoot a girl?" She said dramatically Heather looked to the readers at this moment "Oh, crap."She said before starting to run, Utena chasing after suprisingly not shooting. "I wouldn't want to waste ammo on such an easy target! Besides, I want to get you cornered!" Heather frowned at Utena's answer frightened look on her face "How very lucky for me. YIKES!!!"  
  
Meanwhile everyones favorite souless robot and blonde haired meatball headed dumb ass are stil in the clearing where everything began. And yes now they're both eating the paintballs. "I like the green ones. Do you like the green ones?" Anshi asked the blonde who shook her head "Oh, I prefer the red ones. They're a bit sweeter."  
  
"Hmmm..." Anshi frowned as she picked up a paintball gun "How do you shoot this anyway, Sailor Moon?" The blonde looked smart for once as she began to explain how to use the paintball gun "Oh, it's pretty easy. Just point at something and pull the trigger."  
  
heather crashed through the underbrush landing on her but "Aaaagh!"  
  
Anshi looked to the blonde frowning once more " Just point and shoot?" She said dully The blonde nodded "Yep."  
  
Utena emereged from the bushes a few moments after Heather who is still sitting on her butt. The pink haired duelist walked up to her pointing the gun which she clicked "Oh, I guess you weren't my prince after all. Too bad. Goodbye, Heather!" In the words of the magic emporer Ghaleon, If there is a god of fate his is certainly fond of plot twists. " Utena-sama! Look at me! I can play paintball too!" Utena whiped around just as Anshi fired to the shot, which hit Utena in the head, purple paint splatters all over. Utena glared at the rose bride, Sailor moon stood up looking offical "Well, since everyone else is shot and purple was the color Heather was using and since I'm tired and bored, I declare Heather the winner! Congratulations!"   
  
Heather just looked like she had no clue what to do "Uh... Thanks."  
  
"Yay! I'm your Rose Bride, Heather-sama! Look, I even come with a sword!" Anshi said happily as a sword launched out of her chest via a spring mechanism, Heather tried her best to look happy all she could manage was a monotone "Whoopee. Sorry, Utena."  
  
Utena of course didn't seem be bothers. She was actually quite starry eyed "You won. You HAVE to be my prince! KISS ME, BABY!!!"  
  
Heather looked puzzled and afraid at the same time "What? AAAAHHHH!!! I liked you better when you were trying to shoot me!" She said running off into the forest being chased by Utena.   
  
  
  
Danielle still hovered in the air, still holding Akio by his left foot, she looked rather aggitated "Say it." Akio crossed his arms "I WILL NOT!!!" He said sturnly "Come on..." She losened her grip on his leg to provide encouragement "Say it..." At this point her looked fearful "OK, OK!!!"   
  
Danielle smiled victoriously "Good. Also, say it through this megaphone." She said handing Akio a Megaphone he heaved a sigh and spoke "Attention, students of Ohtori. This is Akio Ohtori speaking. I'd like to formally apologize to everyone I've ever been naughty with..."  
  
Somewhere Touga looked amused "'Bout time." He continued "...And I'd also like to say that Danielle the Cat is the coolest cat in the world and I'm very sorry to have tried to seduce her..."   
  
Danielle narrowed her eyes "And?"   
  
"And... And..." By this point the once proud dean had started to cry "..And she makes me want my mommy!" Danielle snickered "Good." She released his leg and he began to plummet downwards screaming for his dear life. Only feet from the ground Danielle grabbed his leg again laughing "Psyche!" Akio heaved a sigh of relief "Ugh..." That is before vomitting which landed on Nanami who was just getting up from her spot before.   
  
Touga Kiryuu, covered in paint adressed the student council and their guests "Well, I declare this new method of dueling to be a great success." Saionjis frowned at his 'friends' and spoke "What do you mean? We all lost the Rose Bride, even Utena."   
  
Touga didn't seem to care "Yeah, but look at my funky new clothes!" He said showing off his paint splattered uniform "I'm tie-dyed! I can get my funk on now! GROOVY!" Saionji raised his hand almost emotionless he once again spoke "This is for your own good." there was a loud 'OOF' sound 


End file.
